my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i wish my penis had a tongue
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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