Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
