You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
