In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
