You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
