white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
