i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
