fuck your aforementioned shoe
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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