Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
