my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
