So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
