I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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