Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
