we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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