No awkward lesbian experiences without me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
