Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
