How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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