So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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