If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
