I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
