im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
