We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
