Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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