I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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