Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
