i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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