I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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