Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
