HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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