I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
