I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
