Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
