Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
