Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
