Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
