chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
