No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
