God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
