i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
