if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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