We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
