I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
