If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Can I color on your dick again?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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