i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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