she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
