He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
