Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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