we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
