you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
