Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
