So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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