dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
